AMANDA RICHARDS
& The Good Long Whiles

 

I always introduce this song as being written for the first man who ever asked me to marry him…  But it’s actually about the devil. 

I wrote “Last Train” well over a decade ago in my sleep.  It was one of many songs that were composed in this manner or based off of dreams.  In this particular dream, I was greeted by the devil posing as a yellow-eyed ex-lover who was trying to persuade me to return with him to the underworld with promises of riches and luxury.  Tempting as it was, I turned down his proposal and when I awoke, I found myself strangely heartsick.  This mournful song flowed from dream to pen the next morning.  

An early version was recorded in 2002 on a 4 song demo featuring a solo acoustic guitar.  The arrangement would later be revisited in cooperation with my long-time band mate, Steve Moore, who is behind the driving lap steel and haunting harmonies.     

The rhythm tracks were recorded at Cloud City Sound in Portland, OR.  Vocals, guitar and lap steel were recorded at Velvet Decay (my home studio) and it was mixed and mastered by Justin Phelps at Hallowed Halls, Portland, OR. Amanda Richards: vocals, guitar. Steve Moore: lap-steel guitar, harmonies. Andrew Clapp: Bass. Mark Powers: Drums.  

Last Train: 

I had a dream last night 
Lord, it took me by surprise 
A handsome man came a-courting me  
With a sinful smile and yellow eyes 

He said “Be my Jezebel 
It’s been a lonely travel from the pits of Hell 
I’ve come to ask you if you’ll be mine 
And be my lover til the end of time” 

I must say, I was flattered at first 
‘cause men don’t make offers like this on Earth 
But it’s a long way to travel to the other side 
It’s a long time to burn when you’re the Devil’s bride 

I said “There’s too many things that I’ve come to love 
And I want to spend my life in the world above 
There’s too many things that I’ve got to do 
That don’t include eternity with you” 

Down on his knees as if to plea 
He lowered his head and said goodbye 
He could no longer bare to be without me 
And tears welled up in his yellow eyes 

‘cause it’s the last train going down below 
and I can hear that whistle sounding loud and low 
The Devil wants to marry me 
and be my lover eternally 

I woke this morning consumed by grief 
The loss had left me in disbelief 
The devil wanted to marry me 
But I have lost him for eternity 

Letting him go, I won’t regret 
And for this longing I will repent

https://i.imgur.com/hlyOmw1.jpg 

Backstage. There is a sting in my jaw, a tightness in my throat. My eyes begin to blur. Then tears. I'm here for the joy and the love but the grief is just below the surface. A smiling veneer of oil on a full glass of water. I choke on the words and wring the tears out like a damp wash cloth. 
   
The opening band finishes their set. They are good. There are great friends in the audience, but the house looks thin. No, they tell me, they are still filing in. I hesitate for a moment and then step into the spotlight. 

The music starts and it’s as if my body and voice are lifted by some divine thread. I am moved like a marionette. The music is no longer coming out through my mouth or fingertips but streams out from behind my eyes, my ears and projects out through my heart.  I am like a faucet for music. A stream. A spring. A channel.  

I have no concept of time other than a driving solid rhythm. Has it been an hour? No, it’s been two.  I am replete with bliss.  There are no more tears.  That's how I know when it’s ok to stop. I am filled.  I am full.  I look back at the band and I can tell they are still hungry.  I see my friends at the bar and they are still hungry too.  

Okay, maybe one more.

 

 

While cross-country skiing with a group of friends around Tea Cup Lake in the Mt. Hood National Forest last winter, we were followed by a delightful group of “camp robbers” who hopped from branch to branch as we skied along.  I found the outgoing Grey Jays to be charming.   

Not wanting to miss a real life Disney Princess opportunity, I mustered my best rendition of Snow White’s “Wishing Well” song along with some delicious organic trail mix and I found myself making fast friends. 

 
 

 

 
I think I did a pretty good job, comparatively speaking but next time I will try to dress more appropriately.  Maybe something like this: 

https://i.imgur.com/sEdEAmz.jpg 
source

 

As far back as I can remember, I’ve always loved sad songs.  I’ll take a B-side ballad over a hit single any day of the week.  I like songs that tell stories and make me feel a little funny inside.  If a song moves me to tears, I know it’s got some emotionally nutritive substance to it.  These songs of suffering, heartbreak and loss are both disturbing and captivating, a combination of feelings that I am strongly attracted to but until recently, couldn’t tell you why exactly. 

The quality of Leonard Cohen’s writing has that deep melancholia that I crave but his voice, though one of my favorites, lacks the tones that effectively move me to tears.  It turns out there is a good reason for this. 

A while back, I stumbled across an article that talked about the qualities of Adele’s voice that move so many people and that how a voice that sweeps from low to high notes creates appoggiaturas, dissonant notes within a chord that create tension and release, triggering a strong emotional reaction. 

It is my goal to find the songs from our collective history that lyrically connect to a deep place of sadness and to perform them in a way that serves the song and the listener.  This is important work to me as I feel that sad music has sacred roots and deserves more recognition than it currently receives in our modern society. 

The Finnish tradition of lament singing is a combination of heavyhearted songwriting and woeful singing that allows the vocalist to express their sorrow and encourages them to shed all those those pent up feelings of grief and loss.  The music is performed in a kind of a folk style, where anyone can join in and there is less attention placed on a singer’s technical skill and more emphasis on emotional quality and release.  Imagine getting together with a close group of friends, singing the saddest songs you can think of, snotting all over yourself, eating delicious hot food, singing some more, crying some more and then just going back about your day like nothing happened.   I seriously love this concept so hard.  Am I the only one who thinks this sounds friggin awesome?!?! 

From the death of a loved one, the loss of a lover, a soldier watching his comrades fall in battle, or the German Kindertotenlieder songs for dead children, there are so many story-songs that showcase the deep roots of music as a modality of emotional healing.  A fairly recent example is blues music. Originating as call and response chants from slaves working in fields and chain gangs lamenting their back-breaking hard work and oppression. The blues gave a little solace in what are entirely cruel and unforgivable circumstances.  The extreme suffering endured by the slaves gave birth to a form of music that  shaped the entire trajectory of American music.  All of country, rock & roll, jazz, hip hop and rap was born from this collective suffering.   

This is sacred music. 

People who have suffered deeply and brought music, poetry, art and innovation into the world are like our cultural mothers and their work is sacred.  Childbirth is fucking painful.  I’ve never done it myself but my mom showed me some pictures once and I’m still traumatized.  Our mothers had to sacrifice themselves, their autonomy, their bodies and sometimes their sanity to bring us into the world.  It wasn’t fucking easy but they did it so we could be here.  I suggest that artists are no different. Most of the greatest works of art were born out of suffering. 

You don’t have to suffer to create art, but then again if you aren’t somewhat tormented, you are likely to end up producing something with the saccharin-sweet stylings of pop music and culture that has lots of glitter and fizz but no substance.  No nutrition. There is nothing wrong with eating candy occasionally, but it is not good for you to eat everyday and does not a meal make.  Lets find music and art with meat too it, maybe even a little gristle and fat.     

I invite you to please share your favorite sad songs, singers and stories that rouse those deeper, darker emotions.  It is my goal to find the saddest pieces and sing them in a style that connects emotionally with the material and uses appoggiaturas to create that emotional reaction that we all need to shed those tears.   

xoxo, 
Amanda

DEC 15th 2014: One of Amanda's songs made it onto indie104 -iRadio LA's 2014 Fall Top 20 which will air later today at 1pm Pacific/4pm Eastern. We'll find out what song in what position on air this afternoon. We can tune in here:
http://www.indie104.com/iradiola/chatroom/

I've been writing and performing music since as far back as I can remember and have been working as a professional for almost 14 years.  I found that I've been able to get a lot accomplished over the years but it has been a cumulative process and I'm never satisfied in the moment of my accomplishment because there is always so much more to do.

I have 4 full length albums and 2 EP's under my belt and I've been in this same spot so many times I have lost track; I have a huge collection of songs that still need to be recorded, photos that need to be updated, shows that need to be booked, videos that need to be shot, calls to be made, CD's and records that need to be pressed.  And lets not forget the most important part- I need to play music.

Three years ago, I had a lot of momentum built up, a great band and an awesome new recording.  Then I left the country for 2 years and did almost nothing.  It takes a lot of time, energy and resources to try to build something like what I had back up again.  Rebuilding bridges, reconnecting with friends and just getting my name back out there again can be challenging but I have a firm belief that all the tools that I need to be successful will be presented to me in good time.

I don't play music because I love it.  It is something that I am compelled to do.  For some folks this is their job or their career.  For me, this is my calling.